Merry old England

It’s been a while since my last update and in that time I’ve relaxed on deserted beaches, drank more than I should in Samui, said goodbye to some good friends and flown around half the world.

In all I have been swanning around S.E. Asia for about 5 months, 4 of those in the eminently good company of a certain Miss Freeman. We dashed back over to the mainland for a bit of R&R after our rather hectic Laos trip (hard work I know). This included another 5 nights of sitting on a beach, usually with nobody at the resort except the 2 of us and the couple who ran the place. We then returned to Samui for the final week before my flight for the UK departed. Speaking of which, I'd organised the cheapest possible flight I could through my travel agent friend which happened to be with an Airline called Air Astana with a stopover in Almaty. I thought nothing of this at the time but regretted my decision a bit down the track. Anyway, my last week in Thailand was spent being fairly quietly with the last weekend involving dinner on Saturday with my Thai friend (and their predominantly Western partners) and Sunday at a BBQ with the other contingent of people I know. Everything went alright which left me Monday to spend with Marcelle before flying out at 10PM that night. 4AM the following morning we left for Almaty and arrived at about 10AM. We skirted the Western edge of the Tibetan plateau and the scenery was stunning. Snow caped peaks and glaciers as far as the eye can see. All rather impressive. Almaty itself was interesting reminding me of what an industrial European town might have looked like with many squat, dirty building surrounding tall smoke stacks spewing forth dirty clouds of pollution. It was a bit scary that as the plane landed everyone started to applaud with no apparent sarcasm… When I got inside there was no facility for international transfers and only one other person going to London. None of the staff (who all seemed to be part of the Military) spoke English and kept pushing Visa application forms at us. After several minutes of impotent gesticulation (and much poorly disguised mirth at the size and designs of there hats) we finally got an English speaking girl who demanded our passports and disappeared for 15 minutes. I was getting a bit jumpy at this point but she finally returned with our boarding passes and passports. A military type in a VERY large hat then led us to a area where we each had to individually enter a room with opaque windows for questioning. He was fascinated with my iPod and seemed to be suggesting that is was an explosive devise of some sort until I actually got him to listen to some music.

Several hours of plane (plain) travel later I arrived in London and got through customs without too much trouble. It was then out to the Tube to be greeted by the announcement that the train I was on had the ultimate destination of ‘Cockfosters’. I find this amusing at several levels. Well, maybe just one. But I still laughed.

Upon arriving at Brixton I was immediately convinced I would be raped and killed before I’d walked a block. Thankfully Chia came and rescued me from the large dark men and got a beer into me STAT. Thankfully Chia was most generous and agreed to put me up for a couple of weeks which makes the whole process SO much easier than it would have been otherwise. Without this I think I may have curled up in a gutter somewhere with a bottle of cheap wine.

Enough waffle, point form observations of Brixton specifically, and Greater London in general:

• A butcher had a sign proclaiming ‘Tender Meat – No teeth required’.
• You don’t hear that many people actually speaking English on the streets and when you do they sound like Vikky form Little Brittan.
• People here are, by and large, ugly (and large).
• A subsection in the religious section in Borders proclaimed ‘Christianity – Oversized’. I couldn’t agree more.

I'm currently PCless and hence have trouble posting photos so it'll be text only for a bit I'm afraid.

Another piece of South East Asia down, several to go (but not this trip).

After a slow start Laos turned out to be rather good. Our last week was spent in the South where we travelled from the regional capital of Pakse by bus (ute) 3 hours south to a broad section of the Mekong which has many small sandbanks and more permanent islands creatively called ‘4000 Islands’. This was made somewhat difficult by all the financial institutions in Pakse (of which there were 2) having network issues resulting in not being able to withdraw any money. We still had a bit of cash and decided to go anyway as we weren’t sure how long the problem would take to resolve and our visas were rapidly expiring. As accommodation was $3USD per night we managed to not run out of money AND still drink substantial amounts of beer Lao. The island(s) itself was a bit naff however with many tourist crammed into a small area and pretty awful accommodation (see above).

On the trip back to Pakse the driver managed to fit 30 people into (and in the case of 3 locals ‘onto’) his truck. It was also the middle of a 35-40 degree day with some travel on dusty roads. To top it off they stopped several Km short of our destination and demanded all Falang (foreigners) get off and onto the waiting tuk-tuks for an addition fee. Several of us refused and after a brief stand off were driven to our destination with the rest of the locals as originally agreed. Dodgy bastards.

Anyway, below is a list of some of the things I though of interest about Laos:

• The only thing that seems to be transported is Beer Lao
• The Laos pronunciation of Beer Lao is exactly the same as the English
• The French translation of Laos names have rendered them unpronounceable
• The only new cars on the roads seemed to be silver Toyota 4X4 Hiluxe's.

From Pakse it was back to Thailand via bus. Our initial plan was to bus it all the way direct to Bangkok and then train it to Samui. After having a quick read of my guide book however I decided there was a few things I wouldn’t mind seeing in Eastern Thailand so we stopped at Ubon and caught a bus to Kantharalak in order to see some ruins. This turned out to be a bad move as we were again robbed blind by EVERYONE in town (it’s funny where the locals don’t realise you know the Thai for numbers and hear them discussing how much to charge). Anyway, the ruins at Prasat Khao Phra Wihan were built on a cliff that is now the border between Cambodia and Thailand. Until recently this was a disputed area and there are still many mines, bunkers, AA guns and other military type stuff in the area. The cliff itself would have had amazing views over the plains of Cambodia if it wasn’t for the perpetual miasma of smoke/fog/haze/mist etc so it was impossible to get any decent photos. The structure itself was built in several sections leading up to the highest section of the cliff and would have been an incredible sight when it was constructed. In its current form however almost any flat surface seemed to be occupied by a local vendor either selling something ridiculous (gold and silver necklaces?) or eating something from a non-biodegradable container and throwing it on the ground.

After that experience we decided Eastern Thailand wasn’t for us and began our long public transport facilitated trip home. This progressed thusly: 2 hours by bus to Sa Saket, 2 hour wait, 10 hour bus to Bangkok, finding hotel at 3AM, sleep, various taxis, 12 hours via train to Surat Thani, 1 hour bus to ferry peir, 1 ½ hours ferry to Samui, ½ hour taxi to friends place.

We celebrated this ordeal by getting drunk.

The down side to all this is that it looks like I’ll finally have to re-introduce myself to the corporate world as I have run out of money. The immediate effect of this is me booking a ticket to get to the UK and start looking for a job. I can barley contain my excitement.* This auspicious date is due to occur on the 27/03. Until then I will be doing my best to get as black as I can on various beaches and as drunk as I can on $3AUD bottles of whiskey.

* This is not true.