Perhaps it's your outlook that needs a good bend, a ninety degree bend to a place where happiness is perpendicular to wonderment.

Barnes Common

London in Spring really is nice. Nice perhaps doesn't do it justice; 'very nice' perhaps. Everything is blooming and fresh and new, and it has hardly rained in the month I've been here. What has also failed to happened in that month is me procuring a job...or an interview....or a phone call….or a card…or in fact any hint that anyone is the slightest bit interested. This is perhaps partly due to a slow start on my behalf non-the-less any form of interest from employment agencies would be nice. On the up side I've got more free time than I've had in ages (Thailand was awesome but we did always seem to have something planned, I'm not sure what in retrospect, perhaps 'recover for next drinking session' or something like that) and decided to do a few things. Bureaucracy at the local gym quickly shot down that avenue though as without a bank account they were going to charge me 1 million dollars (this is not an exaggeration)* for individual sessions as they only accept membership payments through direct debit. Since the gym was off the cards I took the next logical step and baked/ate sugary treats whilst watching Family Guy, Peep Show, The IT crowd, and a bit of Futurama. Peep Show is hilarious. A bit cring-worthy at times but the absolute piss-funny moments make up for it. It has my official seal of approval.

I did eventually haul my arse into town to see the sites and got as far as the British Museum. I have spent 2 days there so far (or about 10 hours) and estimate I'm about 2/3 of the way through if I take into account skimming over stuff I'm not that interested in. The place is both huge and shocking. Shocking in that it has so many artifacts from the ancient world and more shocking that England felt OK about carting off (and retaining) the majority of several countries cultural past. I do like their style though; since we don't have any higher culture in our own history we'll steal it and pretend we do. Good old England.

Assyrian Guardians

A bloody big room. Also known as The British Museum.

Now this could just be my own neuroses shining though, but at what point did the number of comments on ones blog page become directly proportional to A)the number of friends one has and, B)a justification for not updating one's blog at all? Thinking about this, and then thinking about thinking about it, I've decided that particular line of thought is in breach of my initial mission statement; namely to have a personal reference for future err, reference given the continued incompetence of my brain to recall simple facts. I will admit that having a blog has (or least did) tend to spur me on to do lots of new stuff in order to write about it however this wasn't the primary goal. Thus from now on I will not concern myself with the number of comments I receive as I have evolved past such petty concerns.**

Oh, and another thing; in case the people who designed Hammersmith (and no, I won't accept that being dead for several centuries could be an impediment to this (or the fact that urban planning is a relatively modern concept (except for the French but, well, who cares?)))are reading this, I put forward the proposition that you are/were in fact a retarded, pre-schooler on acid with no hands using a lump of coal to design that particular borough. I wondered around for about 20 minutes today trying to find a bus stop that turned out not to exist.

I have finally moved into my new flat in Barnes and as of this Saturday will have all two bedrooms of it to myself. Not knowing anyone in London (Chia and Audrey excepted of course) and being unemployed this doesn’t exactly put me on the social bus to friendship. It is a lovely place however and the guy who's about to move out has been very nice even going so far as to invite me to his going away drinks; a touch awkward initially but a few pints later I was the epitome of social sophistication.***

So until the next exciting chapter from the annals**** of unemployed Chris......

* It is, in actual fact, a gross exaggeration.
** I shall instead leave the metric of friendship in the far more systematic and reliable hands of analytics software and hidden counters.
*** This is not true but I got drunk and thus had fun. Peep Show quote: "You can't be depressed when you're pissed, it's not possible."
****……Annals….. oh come on, it’s funny.

Hold tight London

Today I mowed a lawn with a weed-whacker and a broom. On top of this momentous event I’ve also cracked the 3 week barrier and applied for a total of 2 jobs. I know it is difficult to imagine the stresses I'm putting myself under but years of doing bugger all has prepared me well.

I have been putting my copious amount of free time to good use however; no, not exploring the great historical metropolis of Londinium but in fact by watching episodes of various comedy shows. One quote in particular that gives me the giggles in the following Futurama quote:

Al Gore: To my left, you'll recognize Gary Gygax, inventor of Dungeons & Dragons.
Gary Gygax: Greetings it's a...
[rolls dice]
Gary Gygax: ... pleasure to meet you.

I wished I could be a hybrid of Peter Griffin and Zapp Brannigan.

In less nerd related news I have bought a laptop (wait, that IS nerd related!) in order to assist me in not applying for jobs and spent the last couple of weekends tagging along with Chia in the beautiful spring weather. I've almost moved into my new room in Barnes, which is nice, and met some of Chia's/Katie's friends, who were also nice.

Anyway, procrastination calls.

It's the resurgence of the happy black rappers.

Two weeks don't take long in the bright, warm sunlight of the fresh Spring days in which I (and to a lesser extent, the UK) find my/itself. Things have been falling into place nicely thus far. Chia has been a most gracious host both by showing me around, letting me stay for longer than anticipated AND allowing me to come dress shopping. Unfortunately I've yet to get a job however I have manged to find a place to stay for the next few months until I get my shit together. My lack of job isn't getting me too worried as I've only applied for two jobs thus far. I have however received an offer for an interview but as the position is in the middle of mub kcuf nowhere I might give it a miss me thinks.

Easter saw us having a picnic in Hamstead heath on a beautiful sunny day which was followed up in the best possible way with baking and a half-price cow on Easter Monday.

I've also made a somewhat shaky financially decision and purchased a laptop. Thusly below are a few photos from the end of my time in S.E.Asia.

One last Samui sunset

This guy had spunk